Hi all! Hope everyone is having a great week. I'm still enjoying maternity leave and getting lots of cuddles with Declan. I was looking ahead at the calendar and realized that in not too many more weeks I'll be back to being busier! Next weekend I return to teaching my classes at the gym (can't wait!) and then come May I'll be adding a few more to the schedule. More updates to come on those specifics once my gym officially releases the schedule. Also, as of June 1st, I'll return to my work as an SLP. My schedule will be sort of varied and random due to the nature of PRN work but I'm looking forward to the change! I'll just need to stay a little more organized since I won't be working set days or a set schedule.

On that note, I am one day into my challenge to scale back on social media. Last night was so nice. I got a few chores done, got some time to play with Connor, and just generally enjoyed being "unplugged". I'm not giving it up completely since I use social media for blogging related activities and to stay in touch with some friends via messaging but I just need this break and can already tell I'm happy to scale way back on being constantly "tuned in". I'll still be publishing my posts to FB since many of you read to which I say, thank you! I love sharing what I'm passionate about on this blog and if you find something useful or can relate to something I discuss that means so much. I realized I've been droning on a little about me me me on this blog. I want this space to be useful to you as well! While it's nice to know what makes a person tick sometimes, my intention IS to share fitness info, ideas, as well as recipes...you name it.

So, in the interest of something you may find useful, and delicious, I want to share our new favorite fish taco recipe. This is STUPID simple to prepare and delicious....not to mention a fairly clean eating option...ok ok so it uses taco seasoning and a bottled dressing...this busy momma needs to cut a FEW corners here and there mmmkay?

Frozen tilapia fillets thawed
1 package of dry taco seasoning
Lime vinegrette dressing (I use Newman's own)
1 package cole slaw mix
Small tortillas for soft tacos

Garnishes if you choose: hot sauce, light sour cream, guacamole, diced tomato, etc.

Coat defrosted tilapia fillets with taco seasoning. Bake fish. When done, flake into bite size pieces.
In a bowl, lightly coat slaw with lime dressing and season with a dash of sea salt and pepper if desired. Heat tacos and top with fish and slaw and other garnishes as desired.

I LOVE these served with only a light smear of light sour cream and homemade guac and a few dashes of hot sauce. To make the guacamole I mash 3 avocados with the juice of one lime, a few teaspoons of fresh or dried cilantro, and garlic salt and black pepper to taste.

Enjoy!

If You Chase Two Rabbits...

I feel really exposed writing this post for some reason. Probably because it's incredibly hard for me to acknowledge feeling out of control, disorganized, lacking focus, lacking follow through, and generally feeling flaky about life in general. It's terrifying, embarrassing, and stressful to finally admit that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Let me jump to the point. I'd like to own my own business someday. Like a real, legitimate, brick and mortar business. A fitness studio to be exact. This is my happy place. I've said that a million times. I love seeing my patients as an SLP and the amazing colleagues I have made in the process. Many aspects of the field challenge me and hold my interest for personal fulfillment, for sure. BUT, big picture...long term...I want to call my own shots, create something for myself, make my own schedule, empower people who might also want to come along on that ride. I want to help people achieve wellness in another way.

The problem is...it's HARD. I'm not fearful of the WORK...the hard part is getting started. Setting concrete goals and slowly chipping away. It's the proverbial "long game" and I have no patience. Also, you need CASH. Gobs and gobs of cash. I'd love to think my acre plus of property has some money trees out back but...no. I'd also love to be independently wealthy or have a trust fund to tap for a loan but...no. I'm going to be on the hook for the investment in a venture like this and honestly, there is no timeline. Andrew (god love him) and I talk about this frequently. Last week, we were chatting about when will we know that we have the money to invest. Again, in his ever present wisdom he encouraged me to begin setting some real tangible goals. He suggested we open an account (hopefully something interest bearing to help my money grow) and slowly begin making deposits here and there as we are able with some extra income. Hmm extra income... I just went part-time. Not exactly a whole-lotta extra income floating around right now. In my intense desire to "have it all" I've tried my hand at some other businesses that required a lot less start up investment...and they've been great! I'd never represent products I don't use or believe in...but honestly, the payout hasn't been worth the time and the amount of time I generally need to put into developing those businesses into being fruitful enough to offer me a flexible way to invest that income in my ultimate goal...ultimately detracts from the time I need to be spending on working on my actual goal! Does that make sense? I'll be completely honest...my desire to "get rich quick" so I can realize my dream is enticing. But it's time to refocus. Because I use this blog as a platform for accountability (if you put it out there maybe it tempers the tendency to be flaky!) here's what I would ultimately like to achieve:

Continue to expand my involvement with the Les Mills brand. I'm going to begin attending advanced trainings this year, called AIM modules, in an effort to achieve a pie in the sky dream to become a national trainer/presenter.

Continue blogging. I love this as an outlet and because my goals are relevant to the purpose of this blog, this might be a good platform for me to stay organized, accountable, and continue the conversations I love to have about health, wellness, and a more fulfilling life.

Open a fitness studio. For about a year I've been in some talks with some franchise brands including barre workouts and group fitness studios, vs. going out on my own with my own concept. I've even done some showings with a real estate agent for studio space. And then the reality of the enormity of the investment set in...and that I didn't have the cash to pony up right now...so we put things on hold. I need to spend some time honing in on the type of studio I'd ultimately like to open.

Finally, I can't lose sight of my most important priority right now...and that's my family. The whole point of dialing back on my full time work was to spend more time with the boys while they are young. I'm just addicted to working and being busy! Again, I just deeply desire to do it my way, in something I'm truly passionate about, calling my own shots, making my own schedule, and creating something I can be proud of. The goal has never been NOT to work. I just want to do something I can be 110% invested in and show them that not only can you be successful by getting an education and a successful career...but you can crush a dream by building something for yourself, working hard for it, sustaining it, and still be present and fulfilled in life on your own terms.

So, what's standing in my way? Me. I recently heard a quote that says "if you chase two rabbits...you'll lose them both". This hit me like a ton of bricks. This is exactly my problem. Awhile back, my father looked at me and said, "Catie, you have too many minds". He LOVES this reference from the movie from The Last Samurai. This was advice offered by a tutor when Tom Cruise's character is not succeeding at learning the art of sword fighting. The reference here is that the character is too distracted and lacking focus therefore putting him at risk of not truly achieving excellence. Hmmm....guilty.

How am I going to fix this? This morning, it dawned on me that I really need to focus on being more present. Last night, Connor was trying to get my attention and I had my nose in my phone trying to message some customers from one of my business ventures back. Andrew and I often speak about how we are a little too caught up in tech at the inappropriate times sometimes. I've actually decided to scale back like 95% of my social media use for a few weeks. I need to get off of Facebook and rejoin my life! There are too many distractions on Facebook, too much noise for me about business opportunities I want to pursue that aren't bearing fruit, too much sharing, too much comparing...I'm tired. I won't be gone COMPLETELY only because I do follow a few things on FB that I use as reference...it is a good forum for a few things! Also, for some people in my life, it is a primary means of staying in touch via messaging so I will be accessing it from time to time for those reasons. I will also keep blogging as I mentioned above and I do like to share those posts so I'll post to my wall when I publish something new...otherwise, adios for a few weeks. I'm really excited to take this challenge.

When I'm not spending this newfound time focusing on the kiddos and my husband, family, and friends...I'm going to work on a vision board and develop some goal setting tools for myself to achieve what I outlined. I'm working on creating a little office space in my guest room so I have a little nook to "work". I'll also be focusing more on keeping up around the house, our families fitness and nutrition, and spending some time connecting more personally with friends near and far. I'm EXCEEDINGLY bad at that...like miserable how-do-I-even-have-friends-left bad. I just don't do long distance :( It's interesting, those relationships are either easy breezy to maintain or incredible amounts of work...but that's another topic for another time, maybe.

So, here's to clarity, focus, and fulfillment...and crushing your goals and dreams! Chase one rabbit...have one mind.

What are your big scary goals? Have you achieved them yet? What is your plan? How have you refocused your life and other priorities to balance your goals with other important responsibilities? Do you identify with falling victim to being all over the place when it comes to what you pursue? Tell me I'm not alone and share some motivation!

Ambassador of Health

Hi All! Just popping in quick to say hello today. We're pretty much back to our "new normal" routine.  My parents came to visit for about 3 weeks and left to go home yesterday. We were BEYOND appreciative for their help. It was nice to have extra hands to keep Connor occupied during my last week of pregnancy and when we initially brought Declan home. My parents live in New Jersey and we are so fortunate to be able to see them often but they aren't exactly around the corner so it was awesome to get to see them have such quality time with their grandson's. We actually call their visits Nana and Pop-pops bootcamp since it seems like Connor's skills EXPLODE every time they are around. It's funny actually...you'd think I never read to my kid or had enriching interactions...I recently messaged a friend who is a peds SLP since I felt like I needed to check in on Connor's speech-language development. Yes, he's only 18 months but in my paranoia I just felt like he wasn't quite doing a few things I expected. Anyway, a mere week later, Nana gets here and now he's saying "cookie", "baby", "moo", and some other "half words" for foods, drinks, etc. Little show-off. Needless to say, I'm relieved and it's so fun to hear his little voice express himself.

Andrew is back to work and will go on paternity leave for two months starting in June. We will be sending Connor to the sitter a couple of times per week as well. A while back, I wrote a post regarding my desire to have more flexibility in my work/home life. The way I wrote about sitters and daycare came across as if I thought this was a terrible idea. I wanted to clarify that this isn't the case at all. I don't think for an instant that myself, or others, are trying to have someone else raise their kids. That was more of a tongue in cheek way of expressing my personal feeling about wanting to be more involved. On the contrary, we love our sitter and refer to her and her husband almost as Connor third set of grandparents. They care for other kiddos as well and Connor has several little friends. It's such a positive experience for him and we couldn't have survived the last 18 months without them. I'm just happy to have the flexibility to have some extra time in my schedule to spend a full day here and there myself with the kids. A luxury for sure...and probably not something I'll do long term for years on end, but for now, it's working.

Anyway, just settling in with Declan and getting a little one on one time with our new addition. It's actually nice to have it just be he and I for a little while. I can sort of get the house in order, get used to his wants/needs and get us on a bit of a schedule. In a few short weeks I'll return to teaching my classes at the gym and then by June I'll start picking up per diem hours. I'll also be focusing on some health coaching on the side through Beach Body and I've been toying with the idea of revisiting my Stella & Dot business. I get interest in Trunk Shows here and there and typically turn them down since I just didn't have an extra ounce of time...but now my schedule may allow me to fulfill those Trunk Show requests so if you've been interested let me know and we'll see what we can do!

Before I sign off for the day, I wanted to share that I'm excited to announce that I've been accepted as an ambassador for FitFluential and SweatPink!

It's an honor to join these communities. As I discussed in a previous post regarding my ambassadorship with Girls Gone Sporty, being a member of these groups allows me to help further the discussion and mission of a health and fitness based lifestyle. I love being able to contribute to positive discussions and hopefully be a source of info and motivation for your own health journey. These groups are also a gateway to possible brand partnerships etc. I am looking forward to opportunities to partner with brands to spread the word and mission of a healthy lifestyle and bring readers info on services, products, and communities to enhance your lifestyle and journey. If you're on social media (who isn't) be sure to seek out hashtags like #fitfluential and #sweatpink to become part of the discussion and see what's going on around these communities! Also, visit each link above to link over to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and other social media channels to follow!

Due Date Baby and Precipitous Labor and Delivery

I've been debating since before Dec's birth whether or not I was going to share his "birth story" on the blog. I was leaning towards no but after how his whole appearance went down, I'm sort of feeling compelled to share the experience...mostly to mentally process how it completely caught us off guard with just how quickly it all happened.

18 months ago I had Connor in pretty textbook fashion. I was three days past my due date when labor set in fairly predictably. I was restless the night before he was born and woke with what I thought were another bought of Braxton Hicks. By about 6 am that day I realized they were fairly regular and getting more intense. I'd had a similar episode the week before but it never amounted to anything and my symptoms went away just as we'd decided to go to the hospital so I wasn't entirely convinced when it started happening the same way the second time around. By 7 am on October 4th, 2013 I realized this was the real thing and told Andrew it was time to pack it up. By the time we got to the hospital and into L & D triage the contractions were coming frequently and intensely. I wasn't prepared for the pain and was surprised when I actually vomited from the nausea they were creating. I have a generally high pain tolerance and was surprised to have gotten sick. In that moment I realized I could do pain, or I could do getting sick...but I couldn't do both so I asked for the epidural. It. Was. Glorious. I'm pretty convinced it slowed my labor down but I was able to rest and had an enjoyable afternoon napping and chatting with Andrew and my Mom while I progressed. I was even lucky enough to have my OB who followed me my entire pregnancy on service that day and she stayed past her shift to deliver Connor. By 4pm it was time to push and by 4:52 he was here! It was honestly such a peaceful and enjoyable process. Let's just say I had minimal trauma for birthing a 9lb 3oz almost 23 inch baby. It took a little while for my lower half to "wake up" from the anesthesia but I was able to walk around again within 2 hours of having him.

With Connor's birth, I went into it without a birth plan and we did the same with Declan, no plan. Not having one is sort of against my nature since I'm a "planner" by heart but for me, having some elaborate list of hopes and must-haves just seemed counter-intuitive to the process. Maybe it's because I'm in health care, and work in hospitals, but I VERY much subscribe to western medicine and all of the interventions it typically entails. I'm certainly not a "let's have the baby in a tub at home". NOT knocking those who do, AT ALL, but it's just not for me. I'm good with doctors, medicine, monitors...the works. I went into both labor and deliveries with a hope for a safe delivery with, in general, minimal interventions as appropriate. Andrew and I were both willing to see what played out. If I felt like I could control pain without medicine...we'd roll with it. If I was begging for the juice...hook me up. If a c-section was needed for the safety of the baby and myself....slice me doc. Childbirth is honestly just so unpredictable, as Declan's entrance would prove, and I was ultimately more comfortable with going into the whole process without specific expectations. We educated and prepared ourselves to some degree for a variety of scenarios and possible decisions and felt armed to advocate and make choices as the need presented itself.

My main consideration was mostly for how I was going to manage any pain. In general I have a pretty high pain tolerance so both times I was willing to play it by ear. We decided against participating in any classes to learn natural labor techniques...mostly because I felt like I already sort of practiced similar methods through yoga/meditation that I take and teach. I can't really recommend any specific labor technique classes since I never specifically researched them but I know many women who felt different programs were beneficial and if you don't already have a method that you think would be helpful to help you labor and manage pain, I'd imagine one of these techniques is worth a look!

As we approached Dec's due date, I started giving some thought to how his labor and delivery might go. Having only Connor's birth to compare it to, it was hard not to assume it wouldn't pretty much pan out the same way. With the exception of perhaps a different time of day, I sort of assumed labor would set in in a similar fashion, I'd have time for an epidural, and his delivery would hopefully go as pleasantly as Connor's did. In many ways, it couldn't have gone differently!

Declan was born on his due date on March 22nd and as his entrance would prove, he couldn't wait to get here. You wouldn't have known it two days before...that Friday, I'd had my last prenatal appointment before my due date and I felt like I would be pregnant forever. She had checked me the week before (I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced) so I opted out this time but my doc said that any measurement of progress was ultimately sort of meaningless. It was progress certainly, and she doubted I'd reach her threshold for induction (41 weeks) but she told me not to hold my breath either. That Wednesday before I had started to notice some symptoms of labor possibly being imminent. I'd mentioned to her that I was having Braxton Hicks more frequently and more intensely but nothing that I felt was regular or that I was able to time. I had some other symptoms as well but I'll spare you the details...you momma's may know what I'm talking about. On Saturday, the 21st, I felt pretty good. I had slept ok the night before but by that afternoon, I was noticing some increasing back pain and cramping. Again, nothing to write home about...nothing particularly painful, just sort of a fleeting dull, uncomfortable ache. We watched a movie that night with my parents and around 8pm I had to get on the exercise ball since it gave me some relief from the back pain which had become more intense but by 10pm, it had gone away completely. Little did I suspect that barely 2 hours later my water would break...which it did at about 10 to midnight. It woke me right away and I alerted Andrew. We were already packed so he helped me to the shower to freshen up and put our bags in the car. During this pregnancy, I had tested positive for Group B Strep so we knew we needed to get to the hospital so I could begin a course of antibiotics which protocol indicated needed to be administered for 4 hours before delivery. I was ready to leave the house within 20 minutes and by the time I got in the car, I realized I was in quite a bit of pain. Our hospital is only about 8 miles away but on the way, my contractions literally came out of nowhere and were incredibly intense. Connor's came on hard and fast too but little did I suspect I'd be giving birth within the hour.

By the time we parked the car with valet and got up to L & D triage I could barely move. The nurses were great and started assessing me right away, hooked me up for monitoring and got an IV in since I was supposed to get antibiotics and IV fluids as I was asking for the epidural almost immediately. Then things got interesting. The only way I was comfortable was sitting almost bolt upright in this awkward position. I heard the nurses whispering that my contractions were about 1-2 minutes apart...right on top of one another. No kidding. I could barely catch my breath. Honestly, I think I was managing the pain pretty well (thank god for meditation track in BodyFlow and knowing how to do yoga breaths!) but I was feeling it. I have to admit, I started getting a little nervous. I wasn't getting a break from the pain and the nausea started setting in. The doctor arrived, checked me, and I was at 5cm, 0 station and fully effaced. I suspect the nurses could tell on the monitor and through my pain that things were progressing quickly since she said they were ready to move me to a delivery room and called the anesthesiologist to hop to it to get to me. As they were rolling me down the hall, I had a moment where I realized I better prepare myself since I had a sinking suspicion this kid was making his appearance way before they were able to stick anything in my spine.

I had a moment of internal panic. I knew I could do it and Andrew was right beside me but I was starting to feel out of control. I wasn't screaming or anything but I could barely breath. As they set me up in the delivery room extra nurses showed up and they started calling for the doctor. I wasn't entirely sure what was happening. I feel a little crazy stating it this way but it sort of became an out of body experience. I tried hard to focus on breathing and not puking as each contraction hit almost continuously and had a moment were I almost asked them to give me oxygen because I felt like I couldn't breath. Then, I had this incredible urge to bear down. Not to be graphic but I panicked again out of pre-emptive embarrassment because it felt like I needed to use the bathroom! I spoke up and told the nurse and she looked at me and said, "honey, that means you want to push...DON'T PUSH!". And I was like, "honey, that ship has sailed..." I realized in that moment this baby was coming. The chief resident rushed in as the nurse was telling me to lay back. NO WAY was that happening. She pulled me to my side, the doctor hiked up my leg and said "ok, he's here!...". I don't recall exactly but I was asked to push to essentially get his body out. In retrospect, I don't think I really did anything. I remember pushing, sort of...I think twice.... and about 10 seconds of intense pain... and the next thing I knew they were handing him to me! We confirmed it was a boy and I looked to my right since I forgot Andrew was there. Haha I asked him later what he was doing during Declan's arrival and he was like, "standing there, holding your leg, in awe of how quickly it all went" essentially. He got to cut the cord, and that was that. Bing, bang, boom. Baby born at 1:29am. Essentially self ejected in less that two hours. I learned after the fact that this was considered precipitous labor...no kidding... it was like being shoved off a cliff.

Here's the interesting part...I felt AMAZING afterwards. I'm amazed that there truly is something to be said for an unmedicated delivery. I mean, I'm not sure I could willingly endure that pain for hours on end but apparently labor that happens that fast is thought to be more painful than it may otherwise be with a more normally progressing labor. Who knows. I'm just glad I practically blinked and missed it and that I didn't have him in the car. Honestly, if we dawdled by even 15 minutes I think this kid would have been born in the Shands parking lot. Anyway, I was able to get up an walk around almost immediately and once again, SUPER thankful to have had virtually no trauma if you get my drift. The bummer was that we needed to stay at the hospital for 48 hours so they could monitor Declan since I never received antibiotics. My recovery was remarkable. I felt amazing and feel almost back to normal as I write this.

Overall, it was pretty incredible. I'm sort of in awe about how the body just takes over. The speed with which it happened was a little scary and I did feel a little out of control for some of it but the staff and Andrew were great and the most important outcome, a healthy baby, was the icing on the cake. When all was said and done, Declan outweighed his brother by about 2 oz coming in at 9 lbs 5 oz and about 22 inches. We cook 'em big apparently.

I can't believe he's almost two weeks old! We've been very thankful to have my parents here offering a helping hand and helping to give Connor lots of attention as a new big brother. He's taken to the role almost immediately and loves giving the baby "kisses" and touching his feet...since the head is now off limits after a scratch from a game of peek-a-boo with the nursing cover. I'm going to be saying "gentle, gentle!" for a long time I think.

So how about you, anything unexpected happen during your labor and delivery? Did you have a birth plan? Did things go as expected or hoped or did you have to alter your plan on the fly? Anyone else get shoved off the cliff with a precipitous delivery?